Money, Money, Money: The Empty Nester Remix

Let’s talk about the universal language our young adults seem to speak fluently: “Can I have some money?”

Recently, I’ve chatted with fellow Empty Nesters—both rookies and seasoned pros—and the story’s the same. Our kids, who are out there “adulting,” still have a knack for dialing us up like we’re the Bank of Mom (or Dad) with unlimited overdraft protection.

Now don’t get me wrong—I love supporting my daughter. I’m a proud parent, not a Scrooge. But I also believe in two magical words: boundaries and expectations.

When my daughter lived at home, she rode the gravy train of family perks—fancy dinners out, random shopping trips, coffee runs, last-minute theater tickets. And honestly? I loved sharing those moments. But when she went off to college, my budget had a plot twist. That “fun money” line item? Poof—replaced with “college tuition,” which, spoiler alert, is not cheap.

Here’s the thing: I knew from day one that I couldn’t fully bankroll her social life and still keep the lights on at my place. So before she moved to campus, I sat down with my budget (and a large cup of coffee for courage) to figure out exactly how much I could send her each month.

I told her, “This is your monthly allotment—use it wisely.” Needs like toothpaste, deodorant, laundry detergent are on you to cover. Wants like coffee runs, takeout, and campus events are also on you but from the same pot. Translation: choose between clean socks or pumpkin spice lattes.

Did this stop her from asking for more? Not entirely. But she asked less than a handful of times, and that’s a parenting win in my book.

So here’s my advice, fellow Empty Nesters: Talk about money early. Set a budget. Stick to it. Don’t let guilt—or their FOMO—guilt-trip you out of your hard-earned retirement funds. You’ve put in the work, now you’ve earned the right to “Be Outside” (as the kids say) living your best life.

Because yes, your young adult is learning to manage their money…

…but so are you—just with better shoes and more trips and cocktails

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The Goodbye that means you did Good